How to Determine if Maybe That Wasn't Such a Good Idea

Dear Nina and Rita,

Hello! About six months ago i engaged in a threesome for the first time. Im currently in a relationship and i was then too, but we were having problems. The people i done this with was a very good friend of mine and her boyfriend of 12 years. I'm very big on safe sex but when this went down i was a little unsure of doing it unprotected but i did because i trusted my friend. They both get frequent checkups and all that good stuff, but i'm still a little unsure of how safe this is. I only have sex with them and my boyfriend. If they are both clean then is should be ok, right???

Signed,
Best Friend Forever?

Dear Best Friend,

Sorry we haven't responded sooner, but we've spent weeks marveling at how lucky you are to have a friend who trusts you enough to have unprotected sex with her boyfriend.

You had unprotected sex and now you're worried. Why are you worried? Perhaps you are thinking what we're thinking: Why do your friends, who have been together for twelve years, get "frequent checkups"? Maybe, oh maybe, they habitually seduce and fuck their friends without condoms?

Friend, we have no idea if you've been exposed to an STD. The only way to put your mind at ease is to go to your doctor. Tell her you had unprotected sex six months ago, and get tested for all the big ones. You should also visit an anonymous HIV testing clinic. Many STDs are curable with antibiotics, but some such as HPV (warts) and herpes are not. We want to emphasize that there are many, many people who live with STDs and have happy, fully functioning sex lives. They just have to be extra careful and responsible about when and how they get physically intimate with strangers (and friends).

And readers, remember: Just because you hope you're having safe sex does not mean you're having safe sex.

All our love and more,
Nina and Rita

Got questions for Nina and Rita? Need sex advice? Send your questions anonymously using this form.